Signs

I've heard from many angel mommies that they see "signs" and just know the sign is from Heaven.  Up until this week, little things would happen that would make me wonder if my little guy was trying to tell his mom something.  Today, I heard him loud and clear.  I was thinking about him a ton, as I always do, and I went outside to try and start planting my rose bushes.  I turned on my MP3 player and found the song, If I Die Young.  In the song she says, "Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother, she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors."  At this point, a small plane was flying low over my house and I looked up to see it.  When I did, I notice a rainbow in the clouds.  I had to keep looking to make sure it was real.  I looked down and up like 5 times.  At that point, I just started crying.  I knew my little guy was trying to tell me he was ok.  I have been so worried about him lately, wondering if he is safe.  Sounds silly, right?  I am just so afraid of the unknown.  Today gave me a little solace.  Today gave me my "hug" of sorts.  My son is a sweetheart, just like his father. 

I'm looking forward to our future for the first time since this happened.  The future haunted me before.  Everything, even the sunshine, reminded me of things I would not get to do with my son.  Now I know he will always be there with me.  Now, we are learning how to live with an angel son.  The women I have met along this journey are what have taught me to live with my son, not without him.  I am awaiting a picture of my son's name written in the sand, on a beach in Australia at sunset.  We cannot wait to hang it on our wall! 

I can only hope for more signs and one day he will be showing his brother or sister the same signs.